There's a hole in this story

• 2010-08-02

  

  Dear lord. Why do I find this woman so attractive? 

• 2010-02-05

  Purpose

  Everyday that I depart for work, I contemplate how, truly, I do not need to be. There simply is no point unless I want the money (which at the moment being completely funded from my parents, I have very little need) or if for some odd reason I felt the need that, serving people helped give back to the community, which would give me a sense of purpose, etc, etc. However, the chances of this happening is astonishingly small, so I must only be going for the pay I receive.

  This leads me to a very discerning thought- what will my future be like if I can’t find a reason to hold a job now? At a time in my life where having one gives very little stress, and I actually get to spend it instead of throwing it away in a savings account. What will happen when I get six months into a career path, and realize I am getting nothing out of it? Do I quit there? Stick around for 15 years til my mid-life crisis drives me to leave on a spur of the moment decision?

  I’m terrified that I will end up slaving at a job I hate just to support a family. Don’t get me wrong- I plan on having a family, and will be as supportive and loving as I can. But because of this, the odds of getting tethered to a terrible job grow.

  I’m torn by a situation that is so deep into the future it can’t even begin to be predicted, but still I worry.

  It comes down to this.

  I need a purpose.

• 2010-02-02

  I’m a sap for good strings. This live version gives me chills. I implore you to listen to the song in its entirety.

• 2010-01-21

  

  I really want to go see this building in Fort Worth sometime in the near future.

• →

  Please ignore the crappy quality, and instead focus on the idiot speaking.

  She bothers me to no end. The idea that people listen and praise her terrifies me. She is ignorant, semi-retarded, has a false sense of entitlement due to the fact that she received money for looking like an alien, and brings all conversations back to herself.

  It angers me to no end.

• →

  On Minimalism, and Myself.

  agrailforyoutohold:

  As of late, I’ve been increasingly scared of kitsch.  Things normal people might refer to as cute, or homey, are certainly not aesthetically my favorite.  However, more terrifying is the fact that, in their presence, I get quite literally uneasy.

  A lot of things make me uneasy. In fact, I think I go through a fair bit of my life uneasy about something or another - homework, relationships, the future, et cetera. But kitsch, and the culture that surrounds it, provokes a uniquely visceral terror.  This seems to have come about at the same time as my interest in minimalism has steadily increased, although I believe it’s always lurked within me.  I remember disliking the coloring, the clutter, the age of my relatives homes in the midwest, and not really understanding why.  I would, to use a terrible cliche, escape to nature, and spend hours sitting quietly in some secluded spot thinking.

  The reasons for this have oft confused me.  In my more arrogant times, I’ve considered that, perhaps, others are less comfortable with themselves, and prefer to fill their minds with warm, happy minutia.  This made sense, until, upon further reflection, I recognized that I’m far from comfortable with myself.  I’m confused, embarrassed, and constantly worried about what I am to do with my life.  No, it seems rather that I search for quiet from every one of my senses for just that reason - I am less comfortable with myself, and to be surrounded by things is a terrifying prospect, as I simply cannot process it all.  And so, I like to spend my time in quiet, dimly lit rooms free of the horrors of novelty plates, scrapbooks and over-much personality.  I simply cannot understand myself.

  Because Tumblr does not allow for comments, or perhaps Aaron hasn’t allowed for others to comment, I decided to re-blog this as a way to comment on it.

  I agree with your dislike for the kitsch. Well most at least. I know we have had a portion of this debate when we discussed the seemingly endless supply of people who believe they are original in their arts and films, when truly all they are doing is replicating corny and cliched ideas that really hold nothing (save superfuture and its cwg. I have no hate for that)

  It bothers me when these people can not identify that their idea is nothing new. And I believe that this is one of the driving forces for (at least for me) the hate and unease felt over this kitsch culture. Its the annoyance that somewhere, there are people who think that this terrible and overused object or idea is actually good and original.

  Source: agrailforyoutohold

• 2010-01-10

  This reminds me of my Xanga phase back in middle school. Ah, how childish to post my random thoughts on a blog everyday on the off chance my interest of the time would find me humorous.

• →

  

  After discussion with Aaron, I agree completely-

  This book is devastatingly beautiful, and should be read by all.